Behold, I have returned from the mountains unto the Desert of Desolation known as Phoenix. Much fun was had there, as I enjoyed nature with my brother, a wise wizard, my sister-in-law who is a lovely half-fey/half-witch, their three lovely and rambunctious sons, and my sister-in-law’s mother. The mother-in-law claims to be a retired witch, but that may be a ruse.
In fact, I suspect she is a night hag. She used to herd young children, one must ask for what nefarious purposes. Worse, she has joined a radical cult! I know, for she mentioned it more than once. She has joined the vegans! Members of that cult always proclaim themselves and try to get others to join using shaky logic and fallacies. Indeed, she didst claim that animals do not eat each other and became hysterical when I informed her that they did, some even eat humans and other higher creatures, she became very upset and became hissing and screeching. ‘Twas indeed some of the sounds of a night hag. She claimed the facts ‘upset her’.
Furthermore, she didst disappear every morning, claiming she was going on a hike. Yet when we went to the lake, she didst refuse to attend the festivities. ‘Twas either the sun or water that made her shiver in fear. Likely, it was both.
She even brought a strange sponge, a creature from the depths of the oceans, to wash our dishes with. When I refused to use it, using a cloth instead, she became most upset. One must wonder what strange potions or noxious elements she didst infuse the poor sponge with, after having it ripped from its natural habitat and what her purpose was. Indeed, her attempt to insist upon one sponge being used to wash the dishes that others would consume food upon, didst make me wary.
The fact that she would also cower in dark corners while eating her Vegan fare didst worry me more. What strange rituals has her cult required her to embrace. For she didst even turn her nose up at fruit and salads. There is some strange, dark work afoot and I must keep careful watch for the sake of my brother and nephews.
The Middle-Aged Single Fantasy Witch 